Plants

Artwork by @justjessdoing_jessthings

My mother had the greenest thumb. No really! The greenest thumb. She would find plants that were dead, bring them home, and have them thrive. Our balcony is pretty big for our small apartment and when I was young, it was the home for my toy box with all of my sports gear. Basketballs, soccer balls, footballs… well you get the picture.

As time passed, my toy box was replaced by one plant, then another, and then a homemade shelf for another group of plants. More time passed and my mother’s collection grew to claustrophobic proportions but EVERYONE loved our patio.

My mother knew them all. Every single plant had a place in her heart. She knew how much water each needed, where it thrived on the patio, how much sun it should get. She would talk to them as she watered them and coo over their flowers when they bloomed. She loved her plants and they loved her.

I don’t have her green thumb, at least, not yet. The patio was truly claustrophobic. One could barely walk without hitting at least 3 plants. I couldn’t keep all of them, they would die under my watch. I also have plans on making the patio a nice sitting area. A nice place to remember my mother and all of the joy she had there. I had to get rid of the plants.

Fuck.

This is different from when we got rid of her possessions like old clothes and decor. These plants are alive. They are living and breathing reminders of my mother. Luckily, there are many people in my life who wanted a plant, or in my eyes a piece of my mother. It’s been extremely difficult giving away plants but I have full confidence they are going to a place that is full of love and appreciation just like my mother.

This Is Grief.